divasmusings

So, I read the latest issue of Vibe Magazine (May 2009, with Rihanna as its cover girl. You can also go to the website.), and it talked about Chris Brown growing up with an abusive stepfather. It basically quoted some parts from a 2007 interview he did with the magazine which shed light on the current crisis involved him and Rihanna. At one point during this interview, he was talking about his tattoos - many of them were described as “demons” he fought throughout his childhood, and the interviewer asked him what they were, and he stated:

“My mom had a boyfriend that was abusive domestically so watching that as a kid, it used to haunt me. Not haunt - but eat at me. I used to want to really hurt the dude.”

Asked why she stayed with him, he responded somewhat prophetically:

“Probably ’cause she loved him. I hated him. That was my demons I was fighting. That’s why in relationships I vow not to be that person because seeing that as a kid, you inherit what you see, so I promised myself, I’m not gonna be that dude. I’m never gonna be that person that takes the argument that far. I wouldn’t wanna put a female or a child in that position, being that terrified.”

Reading this, I almost feel bad for him. Almost.

Look, you don’t need another voice vilifying the young man; obviously, everyone else has done enough of it already. But the truth is, even if you do “inherit what you see” from your childhood, it’s up to you to take action to prevent that from happening. Honestly, that’s what Chris should have done. If he has seen that, it should help him go in the other direction. I think the fact that Chris grew up in that environment (which, in this current issue, his mother’s former boyfriend denies) may explain - a little - what happened that night, but by no means is it the full story. And just because of what he’s revealing, we can’t necessarily feel sympathy for him nor can we attack him. The point of all of this is to just wait and see. To invest in his drama and not pay attention to the ones in our lives is something we can barely afford to do.

Anyway, enough grandstanding.

I was looking through the magazine last night, flipping through all these pages, and there was a section in the beginning of the magazine where it showed pictures of celebrity couples like Ike and Tina Turner, Mike Tyson and Robin Givens, and The Notorious B.I.G. and Faith Evans. The editor of the magazine, Danyel Smith, footnoted the collage by stating, “Had more photos… But pulling them together is too tragic. Depressing.”

It seems, from what she is insinuating, that Chris Brown and Rihanna have joined the ranks of the famous who are in abusive relationships.